neurotic paradoxes

anandini

My hands permanently smells like the powder found inside of gloves. And my feet permanently hurt. And ooohhh.... I think Im lovin my work. Ironicly.

It's not too bad actually. Tentatively I get out at 5pm, my Senior Housemen are total darls, my HOD is wonderful. I retreat to Bayan Baru and Ait Itam often enough, almost everyday in fact. My apartment is fab, though unfurnished for now. All's good me thinks.

But I really do miss all at home. I really do  miss Moo Moo, wonder when I'll be seeing that doggy again Hhhmmmmm....

I think for now I sux at being a doctor. But at the same time I think Im picking up really fast. Ive really got a lot to learn, pronto!!! It sure does take time, but unfortunately, time is not what I have.

Im sick of eating out, I totally enjoyed the rasam and sotong sambal and pickles dear teacher Agnes cooked today

Im working everyday for one aim, and one aim only. And you know it... and Im so anxious to get there. I cant wait for it all to happen. I cant wait to finally let it be finally!!!!

I think all those years of fear drawing blood somehow went down the longkangs, Im getting pretty good at it, but I just have to do it faster la. Apparently I take too long. I cant help it really, I simply enjoy talking to my patients. Those years of the language barrier, servicing mankind has never been better.

Oh, and I sux waiting up in the mornings. And I sux at the punch card machine. Today I punch twice at the same place, it overlapped. Ahahahaahha.. Im so bodoh.

I hope Mum comes to Penang fast. She promised to get here when her hols are around the corner.

Oooh and Ive lost wait!!!

I miss my friends. I really hope we'll stay in touch. I really want us to be wonderful great friends always. I wonder if any one of ya'll will actually have the time to read this or not

Oraits..till soon. When I get internet access next. Much love..and keep well.

Its just a matter of time, yknw. Soon it'l be simply wonderful, kan?!

anandini

I'll be leaving on a jetplane with my MyVi again. This time, up north to Penang.

Honestly, Im terrified. Not about Penang, but over how thing would soon change. How this would soon be a complete different chapter of my life, something which needs adjustments and addaptation, all over again. I know I'll make it work, but just a lil bit, I wonder if I'd be just as good.

It's a dream come true, indeed. Expectations run high, hope and prayers shield me. I know I'll be ok.

So, Induction's done and over with. Was darn sentimental last nite, leaving was hard. Fond friends just over the span of 15 days, and then we part to lead separate lives all across Malaysia. Classmates for 6 years, Eve and I for 7, and now we'll be leading opposite paths. I was so jiwang, I was crying to myself while driving back alone from PD to Shah Alam. Hhmmmm...

I was just telling Via, we've been in the comfort zone all along, knowing we've got great friends who've always got our backs. Now, I feel really alone, I feel scared and Im worried. Im usually very motivated, but Im just scared.

Net's effin nuts. So, will continue this maybe tmrw. If I still have the time.

Shoba chinamma and Guna chitappa came over today. Was lovely meeting up, before I see them next maybe in the next 2 years.

To all out there, click on Air Asia rite now and book your tickets. Come visit me in Penang!

Nothing will change, in fact it'll only get better. They can say what they like, but all I know is everything's gonna be alrite! Rite? Hang in there, remember.. as SLAME as it may sound, there's always the darn lite at the end of the frickin tunnel. Comprende? Hang in there...

Much love. To all those in the same boat, all the best. To those heading for Induction soon, have fun ya'll.. these are your last few days being carefree.

Dheepa... we really wished you could have been with us. It would have made everything complete.

anandini

Yeah... so I was saying.

About the whole male dominancy thing, Im just gonna let it go. I'll proof myself, in fact Ive always proven myself. Just because Ive got different anatomical features that doesnt make me any different, yo!!! Just because I dun have your bull-like metabolism which makes you ONLY physically stronger, Im at par or at least better than the average of ya'll. Im not turning into a feminist activist. Im just sick of the system. The so called male dominancy ussually gets all work done due to the ever capable female no 2. And it sux even more when despite it all, he's deemed God and deserves all the credit. Balls...

Oh well, as Ive said. I know what Im capable of. Im getting there, I'll shine in my prime. Sedar diri la sikit, y'knw.. give urself a break now. You'll be blinded by the smoke I leave as I zoom pass babeeyyyy... y'knw like Speedy Gonzales! Ha...!!!

So, the day before.. darling MooMoo fell into the drain. Mum was bringing it across to go poo poo, and while crossing the drain, it somehow missed a step, and went down down down. Dad wasnt home, and Mum dint know how to get into the drain. So she just sat by the drain, and calming MooMoo 'Daddy'll be back soon, dun worry MooMoo...' and crying! But when it got a bit too long, she somehow eased herself down, grabbed MooMoo and somehow came up safely. Im still wondering how she did it, but as she said, 'desperate measure calls for desperate magicall moment..!'. While she was washing MooMoo up, Dad return and was laughing away!! Ahahahhha... so cute! Both MooMoo and Mum are safe. So all's good!

Today the Pengarah came and left, all was good. Except for a slight glitch in time due to severe cuckooness breakdown in communication. Instead of 8.00am, most of them were told to be down by 8.30am. Oh well... it was somehow resolved, and all's good.

I think the cards would have reached Ukraine already. As Rajish SMSed me and thanked me! Yay...!! Hope you like it Rajish and Raynee!!

Which means Via would have received her birthday card as well!!! Yay...!! Stay happy you.

As Im typing this in the Seremban 2 room, dearest Penghulu is at the left corner with all the group leaders, God knows about wat. Yeah.. Im used to it. Who am I after all.. simply no 2. So eff it la.. things will never change. Maybe it will, but not while ego's a virtue in most men.

Much love, keep well. Few more days before I start work in Penang GH!!!!!!!

I miss ya

anandini

Today, Ive seen all colours of people. Some nice ones, some annoying, some great. Mostly wonderful. I was caught off guard most of the times, but I somehow regained stability. Like seriously, where and what have they been doing all these while? Was I that oblivious to the many faces whom Im supposedly to be familiarised by now? Oh well...

Tomorrow's a grand day. The Pengarah of KKN Melaka will be here, with all his equally respected line up. All's gotta go tip top, and I really hope things will go smooth. Im sorta just letting it all go, authority is sexist indeed. In this part, and most parts for that matter, numero uno by protocol's a male. Nothing's to be said, nothing's to be done, there's just nothin effin that's gonne be changed. At least not in the time  frame.

Oh well.. so tired, gonna sleep now. Will continue this tmrw...

anandini

Sometimes, even a slightest remark is all it takes to make me ecstatic. In this case, it's not just a remark, it was many remarks! Im happy, and very proud of myself. Ive known all along, perhaps. *glees*

We had a talk last nite, and perhaps things would go on better in the future. But then again, it always starts like this and somehow history, HIStory repeats itself. Sometimes in various lil avatars, Ive gotta be bold and alert. And maybe beautiful as well :D

With my dose of lovelyness blasting thru earphones, and the www at my fingertips, and having a 40min break.. for now, this is blissful.

Im ever grateful to you, you've picked me up when I was down and you've held me up as though I was meant to soar high forever. No one's given me this much hope, no one's laid this much hope upon me. I dunno what I'd do without you. I love you!!!!

Im lovin the waves at nites. Im lovin the beers and vanillas. Im lovin the friends. Im lovin everything lovely! Yay!!!!!

I still really miss MooMoo dog. I wonder if I'd be able to take MooMOo to Penang with me, but then again, where'll it stay 2 years away from MooMoo, Im gonna miss him growing up, how now!?! Oh no.. I want MooMoo to come play with my feet, and lie down licking my toes as I watch telly I wanna throw him chunks of bread and make him run up and down the house playfully I miss my dog

As for the whole kursus, things are starting to finally make some progress. Which is good, but we're pretty far from being perfect. Soon perhaps, we've got some issues to proove. Everyone's taken us wrongly. And I thing the leaders are to be blamed, in this case the Penghulu, Harry and the Penghulunita, Myself. We've worked things out, and may it all sail smoothly from here on.

Much love, ya'll. Keep well...!!!

anandini

Hola...!!!

Im in the Dewan Seremban 2, blogging with the Sri Utama's WiFi, using LiYun's laptop!

So, all seems to be goin good, and Im happy abt it for once. No more childish nonsense from certain insecure people, we've somehow resolved things with a simple 'Im sorry,....' but coming from him, that itself was major madness! Oh well, kena puji all, cheh... :D *grins ear to ear*

Last nite, with a bottle of ice cold beer and my yummy chocolate *something* by the beach, til 1am! Total bliss, I tell ya...!

Arrangements have been for the whole trip up to Penang. Dad and I will be driving up, and after that he'll take a flight back home in the evening. Most prolly I'll be staying in Via's place for the nite, and shoot of to jumpa the Pengarah Kesihatan the next morning.Hope all goes well, hope work's smooth, hope all stays just as smooth for ever, for ever ever, for ever ever ever!!

Ive just got a mere week or so before real life begins. Not that Im not alive now, juz that I'll actually be working and earnin my own moolahs and having responsibillities and all. I know for some, this phase has begun ice ages ago, but it's finally hitting me just now. The next few days will be the last remaining days where I'll be carefree and be able to do most of the things I enjoy, for soon enough time'll start being a biatch! A tad scary, a lil anxious and certainly very excited!

Im sick of the food here, although they really do serve us good food. But Im craving for some char kuey teow or some asam laksa and the likes. I think Ive put on enough weight to sink an entire iceberg in the north pole. Ive been eating rice, lotsa lotsa lotsa rice!!! Dammit...

I really really miss MooMoo... I feel so sad, I wanna see my MooMoo. I miss having MooMoo run about around my feet, and conveniently jump up onto my lap when we're just chillin on the couch I miss MooMoo...

So, all'll be the same, everything will be pretty for as long as... I quote TAR 'selagi ada bulan dan bintang di langit' Unquopte :D

Much love, be safe. And the all CSMUians and everyone else attending Induction Courses here, in Pangkor and Lumut.. all the best, carpe diem!